He once rolled up the label from a mustard jar and stuck it in his nose, embarrassing me so much, I ran out of the room crying. (Despite the fact it happened in our kitchen. And only our family was watching.)
He was always kind enough to take the fish off the line for me, but refused to let me be the kind of girl who wouldn't bait a hook. He had tackle boxes full of the sparkliest, most intoxicatingly rubber smelling, tassle-y, tentacle-y lures, but rarely did I ever see him fish with anything other than a worm.
He was always the one who clipped my toenails. A detail I remember, as I had the most excruciatingly ticklish feet, and he was the only one who could A.) hold me down and B.) frighten me into submission. I got to sit on his lap, though... I liked that part.
He taught me how to make a peanut butter and bacon sandwich on toast. I try not to think about what it did to his heart, because it's still one of the best things I've ever eaten.
He built us a treehouse. He mowed over every watermelon & pumpkin seed we ever planted. He never really blamed us for killing the saplings in the front yard by ramming our sleds into them after a run down the hill. He made us pick up sticks in the backyard... WITH A VENGEANCE. He buried our dead hamsters by the side of the house.
He took great pride in my ability to "run like the wind." Usually he just said it so I would run and fetch stuff for him, but sometimes, I think he was just impressed and liked to see me do it.
He never went to church, except for weddings, or special services, or someone's First Communion. He communed with nature - that was his church. Or that's what he said. I always thought God liked that about him. I know I liked that about him.
He could make anyone laugh. I spent so much time being embarrassed by him talking to strangers that I nearly missed how good he was at it. There wasn't a waitress alive who wouldn't flirt with him or a baby on the planet he couldn't make stop crying.
He drank a lot of Michelob. I asked him once if it was because it almost spelled my name, and he said, "Of course." He left one in the refrigerator the last time he was at our house. Even though we've moved since then, it came along with us. Someday, I expect, someone will drink it by accident. And when they spit it out and ask, "HOW OLD IS THIS BEER?!" I'll probably laugh. Because he would've found that hilarious, too.
There's no end to the things I remember, just an end to this post. Happy Father's Day, all. And Dad? Miss you every freakin' day. I'm going to pull the label off a mustard jar in your name.
